Transition

I guess you can say that for the past year, I have been transitioning.  I have been on a journey that I would not wish on anyone yet, it is my life.  Over the last several years, I have been asking God to bring peace into my life.  I have begun to realize that I am the only one who can give me that peace.  Each day is a struggle and some days my head just feels like it is going to explode but I just keep telling myself that it will all be OK.  I truly believe that eventually, all will be OK.  I have learned so much over the last year and I am so grateful for the experiences that have brought me to the place I am today.  I still have a long way to go but I feel that things are finally turning around and that the peace I have been searching for is within my reach.

I am not only trying to transition my mind and soul but also my body.  For too long, I have lived in a body that I did not treat well.  I made a promise to myself that come my 40th birthday this year, I would be FIT and FABULOUS!!   I started going to the Y and tried doing things on my own.  Of course, I am not good with that and that did not bring me any success.  A friend of mine posted on Facebook about going to a trainer -- I checked into it and thought really hard about it.  However, the cost was a little steep.  Well, with Jimmy working at Outback now as a Server, the money wasn't as big of an issue as before so I took the plunge one day and signed up for a free week trial.  I knew after the 1st night that it was exactly what I was looking for.  I completed my first week trial and signed up officially on Wednesday night.  On Saturday, I will incorporate the food changes and my new transition will begin.  I still have a long way to go mentally with the changes I want to make to my body but I think I can do this.  I have had to give myself a pep talk about this journey...since I am going on a cruise in April, I had to tell myself that it is OK that my body won't be perfect and quit worrying that I was going to be an embarrassment to my Mom.  This is my journey.  This is about ME and doing what is best for me (something I have never been done before).  I am going to give it my all and am hoping for once and for all to concur this demon and transition myself into someone I LOVE!!