So I watched the Michael Jackson Memorial tonight and as I watched I pondered on my own life. While I have not done extragavent, paving the way kinds of things, I wonder if when I am gone people will feel...really feel for me. Have I made enough of an impression on people's lives that I will always be remembered or am I someone just standing in a crowd? As I live my day to day life, I always think "what will my kids remember most about me and about growing up". I hope they are happy.
Have you ever seen someone - possibly even met briefly and you felt in that instant that you would really love to get to know them better or just think they are a neat person and would love to have them as a friend. To know them on a regular basis? I feel that emotion all too often. I wonder if someone ever feels that way about me. Do I get thought of by someone and just not know it? I consider myself an introvert with extrovert tendancies. I thrive on being with other extroverts who can bring me out of my shell. Most of the time I think I sound stupid and don't know what to say because I worry too much about what that person is thinking of me. So usually I don't say anything. Why? Why should it matter? I don't know. I hate when I feel this way. I hate always feeling so much emotion. I feel like I need a barrier up to protect me from getting hurt. It's these uncertainties in life that just get the better of me.
Peace and happiness. Find me. I think it only appropriate to say the Serenity Prayer here. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
I apologize to my readers for such a downer blog...but after all, it is my blog and these are my thoughts. I felt the need to put them down on paper. Sorry.
Oh course people will remember you. You are a very loving person. You are a fun person to be around. I can relate to how you feel though.
ReplyDeleteActually I was just thinking what a farce the whole Michael Jackson thing was. He was a pediophil and a drug abuser. Yes his music was great but I think people like you living your life and being a decent person is more important.