It's been awhile since my last post...saying that almost feels like I am going to confession...you know like when you would go to the priest and have to tell him how long it's been since your last confession...always hated that...hated going to confession, bad experience when I was little. Anyway that's a subject for another day. So what's been happening in the world of MeMam? Lots and lots -- however, this time has been very emotional and stressful for me. I am trying to emerge to find happiness. I keep reminding myself that I am truly blessed to have such wonderful family and friends and that everything else is just trivial...but it's hard.
I want to start by saying that I have such an amazing son. He truly is a gentle soul. How could I be so lucky to have him? I got a wake up call in August from God. Bascially, decisions I have made in my life need to be changed especially because in order to get my attention, God had to mess with my kids. We had to make the decision to not have Alex return to St. Ambrose this year. We scrambled to find something suitable for him in the way of a public school. With having to live in the city, we are bound by the ridiculous city school districts. Fortunately, we live in a pretty decent area and the school Alex is attending seems to be OK. It's right smack in the middle of the Holly Hills neighborhood so it's in a decent area. He has been adjusting very well. I cried one day asking him if he hates me for him having to leave all his friends. He gently told me "No". He has been making excellent grades and has made new friends. I struggle with the whole private vs public school. I don't know if I would have this battle if we lived in a good county school district. But my sister, who I leaned on heavily during this trying time in my life, informed that I was a little biased because I attended all private schools. I really value my catholic education but with my sister having attended both private and public, she really shed some light for me on this whole matter. Really made me open my eyes...and for that, I thank her! There is nothing wrong with Alex attending a public school. We have come to the realization that on our salaries, we just could not afford private high school for Alex. Something that was really hard to swallow.
So, we are at a crossroad in our life. Olivia starts Kindergarten next year and Alex will go to middle school. I am desperate to find a good school for my children. Jimmy is struggling with whether or not to stay at his job - which he loves - or find something else so we can move out of the city and into a better school district. So needless to say, I have felt like the weight of the world is on my shoulder!
Olivia finally starts her preschool class on Wednesday. I am keeping my fingers crossed that things go smoothly. The last couple of weeks she has slipped a little in her maturity level. School has noticed and I've noticed. Trying to figure out what is going on in that pretty little head of hers. I am sure all the stress at home is the issue. Another hard thing to swallow. It's so hard to shield your kids from your emotions, bad days, etc. I try but I know they can sense it. However, she is doing excellent in her dance and swim class. After her dance class last Tuesday, she came out of the classroom and told me her dance class was "Awesome"! She is really enjoying both.
Whew...it feels kind of nice to write again. For awhile, I was thinking of not blogging anymore but I think I'll try to continue. I think my problem is I want to censor my thoughts...so I'll stop here for now...to be continued...
